And then there's America...

"I could not have known then that everybody, every person, has to leave, has to change like seasons; they have to or they die. The seasons remind me that I must keep changing, and I want to change because it is God's way… Everybody has to leave, everybody has to leave their home and come back so they can love it again for all new reasons… I want to keep my soul fertile for the changes, so things keep getting born in me, so things keep dying when it is time for things to die. I want to keep walking away from the person I was a moment ago, because a mind was made to figure things out, not to read the same page recurrently." -Donald Miller, Through Painted Deserts

A good friend of mine sent me this quote earlier in an email. Sometimes I think that I want to be a writer. I think that I really do have something to say; something profound that only I can articulate quite right. And then I read something that actually explains all of my feelings better than I could ever think to.

But seriously. The last few years I've had a rampantly persistent restlessness that, at least in my mind, wouldn't cease until I left everything I've ever known. And so I joined the Peace Corps. I'm so glad I did. I went to Africa and met amazing people and learned about a culture I would have never known about otherwise.

And then I came back to America. And now I'm sitting in a coffee shop studying for test I have to take this afternoon at my new found job: Outback Steakhouse. Outback. So much for integrating back into America slowly. Here, let me serve you cheese fries and a steak. You only have to eat a few bites. Or you can eat it all. Really, it's about choices.

Initially coming back was pretty easy. Although now that I'm somewhat scoping out apartments and thinking about grown up jobs that familiar feeling of flight is prevailing. I like it here. I really do. But I'm anxious and scared of being comfortable. It's been amazing catching up with people but permanence seems so tangible and...well...boring.

Anyways, I work in a few hours so I need to collect myself.